Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
