He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
