the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
