It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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