Pants 0. Shit 1.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
