i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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