just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Will exercising make me less horny?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
