The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
