So drunk its hurt
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I smell stomach acid.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
