A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
