Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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