The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
