I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm getting married
To pizza
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
