You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
