Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
