remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
