are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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