Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
