Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Vodka?
Forever.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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