I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
