is your mom at the bar?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
