I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
