I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
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