her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
