It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
