Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I have fence marks all over my body
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
