I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
