I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
