Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
