I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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