Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
