dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
