Will you blow on my dice?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
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