I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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