I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
