You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
All I want is dick and wine.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
