Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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