So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
