i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
