Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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