And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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