oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
