Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
i need some magic done to my vagina
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