I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
