In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
