Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
