But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
