ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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