So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
