Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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