Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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